porcelain doll poem

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porcelain doll poem
porcelain doll poem
Suggestions for editing my poem (short)?


Your calloused hands mold a mask, a porcelain mask
And paint a face, some face, a face you thought you knew;
And the flesh is cold and proud and white
And the cheeks are red, blood red.

Your battered hands sew a flag, an ancient flag
And you chain the doll in white, ravished white
And paint the stripes in blood.

You shoot down the sky to catch the stars, the ancient stars
And you drown yourself in blue.

Hahaha Just for the recored calloused is used too. derrrrr

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